Verhütung ist wohl seit Ewigkeiten ein leidiges Thema bei Männern und Frauen. Es hat sich eingebürgert, dass Frauen sowas eher in die Hand nehmen, schließlich tragen sie zumindest körperlich ein größeres Risiko.

Man könnte unken, dass Männer dafür das finanzielle Risiko tragen. Schwerwiegender ist aber ab und an die Ungewissheit, denen sich Männer ergeben, wenn sie Verhütung so ganz außer ihrem Eingriffsbereich setzen und eines schönen Tages konstatieren:

Daddy? Daddy cool?

Look at that girl on the left hand side – priceless. And what does “Takes a tough man to make a tender forecast.” exactly mean? And why does the guy on the right say “Okay, I’ll do.”?

more on Huffington Post & reddit.com.

And now in the mix: Keep fucking that chicken!

It’s a very old but still entertaining question: What’s the reason to get closer with somebody?

If you wanna point out that you’re a thinking guy, you should say something like inner values, being attractive to somone’s mind by the things you say.

If you want to win on that romantic road do talk about the eyes, the color of her hair, the way she moves.

And if it’s rather a technical thing: Never tell her.

More: @peeweeherman. After that he went to Jay Leno:

Wie meine Tante immer zu sagen pflegt: “Es wird immer schlimmer…”

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I took her on a date, things seemed so bright
I knew i would not need my youporn tonight
We go to her place and we fool around
We throw all our clothes…to the ground

We begin as she turns out the lights
I start but feel something so very extra tight
I hear your cry and i see her frown
I look at the condom, it is all brown

Last Night. oooo
I stuck it in the wrong hole
I’m so sorry, oooo
from the bottom of my soul
….cause i stuck it in the wrong hole

Try some preparation
it’ll make you feel better
In my defense
those holes are so close together

Oh baby baby
don’t feel defiled
it’s a common accident
during doggy style

It was so dark
I couldn’t see so good
I had no idea
where i put my wood

I want to make things better
want to make things alright
If you want you can put on a strap on
and give it back to me all night ( I’d rather if she didn’t)

Last Night. oooo
I stuck it in the wrong hole
I’m so sorry, oooo
from the bottom of my soul

I never ever want
to make you feel hurting
I guess thats why God made
that hole not for inserting

Tell me how you feel,
baby please don’t pause
Now I know how they feel
in that HBO show OZ

Maybe take some advit,
your pain it will fix
From the way you are walking,
you can compete in the special olympics

If this was Alabama
we would be on trial,
That’s how my mom
took my temperature as a child (with a thermometer)

I’ve got a confession,
and I think you will mind
I kinda liked
when you put it in my behind

I don’t know baby,
I’m no Sodomite
Can’t we just try it again
tonight….? Alright!

Every night oooo
I stick it in the wrong hole
It’s so much fun,oooo
and we don’t need no birth control
When we stick it in the wrong hole.
I stuck in your ass